May 27, 2020


"My Paradigm shift. All you can change is you. That is it. You can't, you just have to be the best person you can be, be the best you can be at everything that you do, particularly when it comes to fitness, which is my passion."

Listen, Watch or Read this recent Facebook Live on My Paradigm Shift - 'All you can Change is You' (use timestamps below for guide).

Read full Transcript:

[00.00.00]

Hi ladies, how are you all going today? I've just done a night shift last night, so I look a little tired and I'm working on cardiology ward. So I'm not sure who can join me this morning, but if you're able to join me, I'll just wait and see if some people come on.

And yeah, probably no one knew I was going to do a live this morning, but I thought I'd do it this morning after night shift before I head off to bed. So yeah, anyone out there? Anyone?

I will share this afterwards and hopefully a few of you will get something from it. But so yeah, so if I look a bit tired, I worked on the cardiology ward last night and I just want to talk a little bit about a few years ago when I had a massive paradigm shift. So I actually had a few years ago thinking that people around me seemed to be getting more advertising, more kind of people talking about them.

At the time I was pre-gym, so it was before I started up a women's gym. And I just, I knew what I did was good, but I got jealous of people around me that just seemed to be getting in the newspaper, on the radio and just being recognized for what they did. And I felt like, well, why haven't I got the same thing?

Anyway, so I was feeling defeated and people around me seemed to be getting all the attention. I seemed to be getting none. So I had this paradigm shift where I suddenly knew, and I felt like it was just one of these light bulb moments.

You know you have light bulb moments in life. Hi Simi, good to have you join me. And so it was just where I got this paradigm shift was, you know what, Sheree, you cannot change anything around you.


All you can change is you. That is it. You can't, you just have to be the best person you can be, be the best you can be at everything that you do, particularly when it comes to fitness, which is my passion.

I just need to be the best me and I can't do anything if that person gets an award or that person gets recognized on the radio or that person gets on the TV. I can't do anything about that. I can just be the best instructor I can be.

And this was actually life changing for me because it meant that I could relax in the fact that all I had to focus on was me. I didn't need to focus on what other people were doing or whether they got some recognition there, then I didn't get the recognition. When you learn to focus on just you, it makes a big difference to your life because it means you don't have to worry about anyone else or anything else that's going on around you.

You only need to think about you and being the best version of you that you can be. Hi, Becky. Good to have you join me.

I've made a few new friends overnight from the States and around the world. I worked a night shift last night, so I have to get back to a few of you. So if you're new to me and I haven't responded yet, I will.

And for some of those who have responded, great that you could join me. So that was a light bulb moment to me was that you can be walking through life and looking everywhere around you at everyone else. They can all be appearing like they're doing well.

You don't know their journeys and you know what, it's none of your business what they're doing. You only need to focus on you. And that was a life changing thing for me because it made me go from being jealous of everyone around me or what was going on to looking just at me.

So I decided in that moment that I would always be the best version of me that I could be. I would always aim to be the best instructor when I train females to be the strongest bodies they can be. I always want to be authentically me.

I don't want to be somebody else. I just want to be authentically me. Hi, Scarlett.

And you might think, well, how does this affect me? Well, I think it affects us in everything that we do. So I made a very simple poster here that I hope explains it a bit better.

So if you look at my poster here, this is me. This is my thoughts. This is who I am.

And all around us is crazy things going on. That person might be winning an award. Someone is over here doing something else.

And I think we can relate this into our moments that we're going through now with the COVID-19. We can't affect any of this craziness going around us. It's crazy.

But we can't do anything about it. We can worry about it. We can ponder on it.

We can get annoyed at it. Every now and then, I get annoyed at the news because I think I just can't wait for us to get back into reality where my kids have jobs again. But the fact is, I cannot do anything about it.

It will go according to what the government want to do, and I cannot do a thing about it. So in the meantime, I've just got to look after me the best way I can. So that, I think, hopefully explains it a bit more.

I just want to make it as simple as I could. And so in these times, I have concerns like you, my kids with no jobs, and I think, oh, are they going to be okay? My father's in—so one part of Tasmania right now has become a hotspot for the COVID-19, and it's spread from healthcare workers throughout his town, and he's in that town.

He's an 87-year-old with cancer. He's not fussed, and so I explained to him, no, he needs to be careful. And I said, Dad, you need to make sure every time you go out, you come home and you wash your hands with alcohol sanitizer, wash your hands and put alcohol on them.

He said, yes, Sheree, I'll drink the alcohol and rub the bottle. Ha ha, Dad. So he's not taking it seriously, but that's okay.

So I've got a father in a hotspot at the moment. I'm not training my normal clients. So I love to train clients.

I get such a buzz out of it. It's so cool. So I'm not able to do that right now, so half of my identity of training clients is kind of gone.

Hi, Jill. And so, yes, so I'm not able to do that at the moment. So I've increased my shifts that I work as a nurse to—because we've still got bills coming in.

And so I've increased my shifts I work as a nurse, which is not ideal. I want to eventually get out of nursing and just do my fitness stuff. So I miss my clients.

I miss the regular thing. I worry about my father. I worry about my kids.

But ultimately, I don't have too much worry because I can't do a thing about it. My father lives a four-hour drive away from me, so I have to rely now that I've talked to him. I'm a nurse.

I've talked to him. And he knows that he needs to take care of himself. I can't do anything more about it.

I can't. It's up to him what he does. I can think about it every now and then, but I'm not going to put too much thought into it.

As my kids are an hour's flight away, they have lost their jobs for now. And so I can't worry too much. I think it's actually a good thing for my young kids to go through, to not have a job and to not know what they're doing tomorrow because it creates some resilience in them.

So, yeah, it teaches my kids that they can survive when things aren't quite how they thought they were going to be. So I look for the good things. I purposely look for the good things, and that's how I keep my head in a really good place.

I look for the good things. So the other day, I went for a ride on my bike, riding along, really enjoying the ride because the sun was shining, the wind was in my hair. Well, not quite my hair because I had my helmet on.

But it was really cool. So I came to a bunch of weeds and dead grass. And in the middle of that were these beautiful bright pink flowers.

Now I know that they're called naked ladies. So there they were growing in the middle of a barren patch. And I thought, wow, what a beautiful gift to give to me today that I should see these flowers just blooming and sprouting in amongst all these dead grasses and stuff.

And then not long after, so actually the day after that, I went for a ride again and I saw a lovely old lady standing in her porch. And so as I rode by on my bike, I thought, I wonder if somebody's coming to pick her up. Well, she waved wildly at me.

So I waved back and it was so cool because it probably made her day. And everyone that I meet on my bike ride, I give a cheery hello to. I may be a certain amount of way, hi, Terry.

But I make sure I wave to them and smile at them and go, have a great day. Because you know what? There's no use in me getting surrounded and swamped by all the things going around me.

I just need to focus on me. And if I can be a help to someone in that day, if I can give a smile to someone or be some kind of joy to someone in that day, then I'm going to do it because all I can do is affect me. I can't affect anything else or anyone else or how they want to be, or if they want to live in fear or they want to play the news all day, whatever.

But I choose to be the best me I can be. And that way, I can be a better person to my clients if I'm on the phone to them, to some of my older clients asking if they're okay, I can be a help. But if I'm not taking care of me, then I can't be a help to anyone else.

So yeah, so it's a really important thing. And hi, Susan, great to have you join me. And so, so yeah, so I think it's really important just going back for those that didn't see this before, I just made a really simple diagram.

Here is me, I'm the pink bit. And here's all the craziness that goes around us sometimes. So it was a simple paradigm shift I had a few months ago, where I just realized I can't change the world around me.

I can't change the person over there that chooses to be mean towards me or my friends, or I can't change that. But I can change the way I am. I can change the way I respond, the way I think, the way I talk, the way I deal with people.

So I cannot change the world. But boy, I can do a lot to change me. So it's quite cool when you come to that mindset and that paradigm shift.

It's quite cool. And if I look a bit tired, I did work last night on night shift. And so yeah, so the priority for me is to keep me going to keep me happy and to do what I love to do.

And that's why I get out on my bike, I get out on my bike and I go bike riding, unless it's pouring with rain or there's a huge amount of wind making trees kind of sway around the breeze. Like I don't want to die with a branch going over the top of me. But if I can right now, well, I'm not training clients and I don't feel up to always training alone.

So I've started training with my youngest daughter and that's been fun. But I'm also going out on my bike and that gives me so much joy. So I'm doing strength training when I can because that makes me feel good.

And it's not just the cardio. Like I did a cardio workout with my daughter a few days ago. She's 20 and I'm a 57 year old.

And I must say the cardio was good at the time, but at the end, I didn't feel like I'd done anything. So I went and picked up some weights. Then I feel like I really had done something because the weight training makes you feel like you've worked hard for hours and hours and hours afterwards.

So it's great. Also for me is prayer. I love to go to a quiet place.

So I've got a few quiet spots around here. I've got a beach and I've got a little creek thing that comes down and comes over all these rocks. And that is beautiful sitting there.

I walk way, way, way from where, or normally you don't see anyone down there anyway, but I walked way away in a way so I can just be by myself. And it's so peaceful with the birds and the trees and the water just kind of coming down over. So I go to, I like as much quiet as I can, particularly as a nurse and a fitness instructor.

I have to talk to people all the time. So I actually quite like my own company. I know people would say, oh, Sheree, you like to be the life of the party, but I actually like my own company as well.

Most of my kids are an hour's flight away, but we've just started a family group chat. So that's really cool. Just asking little things.

What are you having for dinner today? Have you been for a walk? There's not much else they can do.

They show pictures of themselves before they go to the supermarket. This is what I'm wearing today because it's about all that they can do at the moment. They can't go any further.

For young people, it's kind of weird because I've had this freedom all the way along. I check up on my dad here and there, and I remind myself all the time that this too will pass. It will pass.

It's not here for long, but it's really having the only thing. So going back to the crux of the thing is having the only thing that you can change in this world, in your day-to-day life, in the job that you have is changing you. You can't change that boss who's an arsehole.

You can't change that person down there, the person over your back fence that's being a right pain with the fence or they throw garbage over your fence or whatever. You can't change any of that. You can do so many things.

So there's bits and pieces that we can do. I can't even change my kids now. My kids have moved away from home.

They've grown up and moved away from home. I can input into their life, but ultimately, I can't change them. I can't make them wear that outfit I like them to wear.

They have choice and I can input. So I guess what I want to say today is just be peaceful because the only thing that you can change for certainty is you. The only person, the only thing you can change is the way you think and the way you see things.

So if you start to look at that, it gives you a whole pile of peace because you know that you don't have to change the world. You don't have to change the annoying neighbor on the other side of you. You only have to change the way you think and you act towards others.

And it can just be a life-changing thing, a mind-blowing thing in actual fact, because for those of you who have just joined me now, this was just one of those mindset things, one of those light bulb moments quite a few years ago when I was doing all this fitness stuff. So I was taking outdoor women's boot camps. I was doing Zumba.

I started up a gym and I was doing good stuff, but when someone would get shown on the TV or shown on the radio, I would get jealous. I would get jealous, so jealous. I'd go, why are they on the TV?

When I'm here training people day in and day out and they're getting great results, why are they on the TV? But it was something I saw, some course that I did that I just thought, wow, that is that simple little thing of going, you know what? The whole world can be going crazy around me.

Those people can be getting awards that I don't think they're as good as probably what I do, but that's okay because I just need to continue to be the best me that I can be, the best version of me. And that is all I can impact. That is all I can change.

And that is really what I wanted to say today.

It's really important just to be knowing that you don't have to worry about others. You don't have to worry about the world. You don't even have to worry about your kids because you've done your job of whatever you actually needed to do while they're growing up, but you only need to impact you.

And if that means you go away and have some prayer time, or that means you go away on a rock away from everyone, that means you go for a walk into the bush just to have that peace.

Or you may just want to just focus on the way you breathe in and breathe out, which reminds me, those of you who are out there and would like something really nice, I went to a stream the other day and filmed a beautiful stream trickling down. And we've just put a lovely little meditation on that. So just something to think about your breathing, allowing your thoughts to go.

That's all it is. It's about a five minute thing. I think it is that.

So we're going to put a link down here after. So I'll share this live, we'll put a link down there. So for those of you who just want to sit in front of a stream, look at the stream and just hear the nice little tinkle and some music, we'll pop that on there.

So you guys can feel free to come into that, but I will share this afterwards. And I just want to end with the beautiful serenity prayer, because it really says everything that I wanted to do today. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Okay, so it's all about that. It's about, I need to know when I need to be concerned. And you know, on the whole, if we can give ourselves time to get our mind in a good place, and that's what it's about.

It's about being the best version of us we can be. I can't be that person. I can't be that person.

I'd love to sing. My dream has always been to get on a big stage and sing to thousands of people. But you know what, I will never do that.

Because as much as I can sing okay in the shower, I'm not going to be someone to stand on a stage and sing to thousands of people. It's just a dream. But you know what, I can be the best strength trainer I can be.

I can get women looking good and feeling great. And I am good at that. So then I need to focus on a few different roles I play in life, at being a good mom, being a good fitness instructor, being a good nurse, when I'm there as well, being a good partner to my husband, and just being a good friend to people.

But I need to be the best me I can be. And I hope that I've given you some hope. If your mind's going a bit crazy, in this place that we're in right now, be at peace knowing that all you really have to care about is you and taking care of you right now.

And knowing that you just need to be the best version of you you can be. I can't wait till this whole COVID-19 is over because I'm eating so much chocolate. My clothes are very snug right now.

It's not where I wanted to be. And I probably need to stop eating chocolate. I normally allow myself a chocolate treat every now and then.

But I'm having chocolate a bit more than probably what I need to at the moment. Anyway, everyone, have a great day. I'm going to put this on replay.

And I will pop a link down in the next hour or two that you can pop on and watch our lovely little Trinklin stream meditation as you just think on life. Focus in on your breathing and focus in on just being you, just being in that place in that moment and allowing life to just kind of pass you by around you and not having too much of an impact because you have the choice over how you'll be. Okay, have a great day.

And thanks for joining me. And I'm going to bed for a few hours sleep now after my night duty. So bye bye.

I'll see you next time. Bye.

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About the author 

Sheree King

Sheree, a Registered Nurse, Master Trainer, C.H.E.K. (Corrective High-Performance Exercise & Kinesiology) certified functional exercise specialist & PN (Precision Nutrition) certified nutrition specialist, is passionate about empowering women all over the world to become their best selves. She brings decades of experience and expertise in training women, and together with big dreams and a big vision has created a unique fitness programs to transform everyday lives to empowered success.

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