Overwhelm – Coping when things seem too much

Good morning ladies. It's Cherie here from spicefitness.com. I just want to get on here today and just have a little chat about when you feel overwhelmed.

Now the last few weeks have been quite life-changing for me in so many ways because my father, who I haven't really been in that much contact with, I have over the last seven years, has split with his girlfriend and we're making moves now to get him into my, kind of not my inside my house, but we have a unit next to our house that we built quite a few years ago now that we never fitted out, so it needs ovens and it needs bathrooms and everything in there.

But why has my life changed over the last few weeks? Well, my life has changed because I'm now needing to move my 88-year-old dad in near our home. I'm obviously going to be his main carer.

He has lots of appointments with oncologists, with, oh gosh, he's got cardiologists, he's got endocrinologists, he's got so much stuff. And even now, before we move him on the four-hour drive he is away, now that my dad's going to come to actually live with us, it means that we've got to go into his house and clean it, get it ready for sale, then move him down. And then I'm thinking of all the things I've got to do when he does move down here.

I've got to get his dog seen by the vet. I've got to get him seen by a psychologist. I've got so many appointments that are in my head I've got to make.

So how do you deal with overwhelm when it comes? Because I am absolutely overwhelmed at the moment. I haven't been on a live for a few weeks now.

There's been a few things going on, but having this happen right now, hi, Barbara, great that you could join me. Just as we're about to get ready in the next few weeks to launch, do a big launch of our free 21-day strength training program, and then our nutrition program as well, which we've been putting a lot of work into. And now that's had to take a little bit of a backseat, which is really hard.

I'm sitting there thinking, I keep thinking to myself, and maybe I shouldn't think this, I hope I don't get sick right now because there's so much going on. I don't have time to get sick. So I'm okay.

I kind of look after my health a fair bit. So I work out and I have a good diet, but the fact is I couldn't do anything about my dad breaking up with his girlfriend of seven years. So my mom died about seven years ago, and then my dad got together with this lady.

And so she's kind of been looking after him as well, taking him to all of his appointments. He does live a four-hour drive away. So it's time now to, his mind is not so sharp anymore.

He forgets that he's just taking his tablet. So he really needs, either it was a home or he really didn't want to go into a home. So we're going to give this a run.

So we're going to fit out a little flat beside us. So yeah, just how do you deal with overwhelm? Because overwhelm will come at times where you just go, oh no, I already had enough to do.

I have enough. This is my life. So I'm a nurse on a weekend.

I work two shifts on a weekend, sometimes three. During the week, I train, I strength train clients through the week. So face-to-face, I take groups, I take small training groups and personal training clients.

And then on top of that, we're getting this online program revamped and ready to go, ready to launch for the so forties, fifties beyond, we're getting this whole, so I've had to film and nutrition stuff. There's a whole lot of filming that's gone on behind the scenes and still occurring. And then on top of that, I don't sleep too well.

So dealing with lack of sleep. And then on top of that, my dad. Now I love my dad and I would do anything for him.

And so I've had to just take a big breath and go, this can work. I have just got to be more organized. And if anyone knows me, I'm not so organized.

The most organized that I've ever been in my entire life. So what do you do when you're overwhelmed and you feel like life's thrown a curve ball at you and you can't do anything about the curve ball. You can just adjust some things to fit that curve ball into your life.

And if that curve ball is only there for a while, great. If it's there for a while, then just re-tuning certain things.

I just want to share with you this morning, what I have changed in my life. So one, this is something I was already doing quite well. I could do better with a better sleep.

So I think I might have to go along to my GP and sort that out a bit better, but look after yourself with diet and exercise and make sure you drink enough so you stay hydrated. If we get dehydrated, we feel it. We feel the effects of that.

We do feel more lethargic. We feel like we want more junk food. So keep yourself hydrated.

I already exercise. My diet went to shit for a few weeks. Excuse my language on a Facebook live, but I was just turning to chocolate.

I am already inclined to want chocolate, but normally I do well with my seed chocolate cacao balls and I eat those, but I was turning to chocolate and eating a lot of it. So try and just keep yourself from going to the shops at those susceptible times when you feel like you could succumb. Last night, I did a very interesting thing.

I trained my group near the shopping center, then went to the shop with the view, the express view to buying something I did need, but buying chocolate at the same time. So I sat in the car for 10 minutes. Yes, 10 minutes in the cold, it was raining, pelting with rain and I decided I am not going in that shop.

I'm in a really susceptible moment right now. So I turned around and went home and I didn't buy what I did need and I didn't buy the chocolate. So sometimes you just have to be firm with yourself.

Hi Denise, great that you could join me. So yeah, what do you do when overwhelm comes? Look after yourself.

Number two, just sit and be, just really think about it. Okay, this curve ball has been thrown into my life. I don't need to feel like it's overwhelming me.

I just need to change a few things. So if I've got to change some clients on the day because my dad's got an appointment, that's what I'll need to do. And I'm sure my clients will be very understanding with that.

And if I need to hand over some of my group stuff to my other trainer, I'll do that. So there's things that I can be doing that make the overwhelm not seem so bad. And I just think we just need to sit and be in the moment.

So that could involve deep breathing. If you're finding that you have that, you feel overwhelmed in that particular moment, deep breathing. But also for me, it's taking a walk out in the bush, in nature.

It could only be a half an hour walk, but I feel usually pretty revitalized when I come home. There's birds in the trees and I just enjoy being out there. And prayer for me is a big one.

For some of you it'll be meditation, but just spending time alone and just knowing that it's going to be okay. So this curve ball has been thrown your way. You just have to deal with the curve ball the best you can.

And these are some of the ways. Number three, practice gratitude.

I think that's a huge one because it does change your whole mindset. Be thankful for your health. Be thankful the fact you are loved and be thankful the fact my dad, now he's moving down to Hobart and he's going to live in the other part of our house.

Be thankful that he's still around because some people, particularly after Father's Day and looking at all the sad stories on there, some people don't have their fathers. So I'm particularly thankful that I've still got him around. So be thankful for what you do have.

And I can be thankful that I've got good health, that I'm able to actually become a carer, I guess, if you want for him. Four is just spend time with friends and family. Don't negate those.

Don't feel like you've got to take the whole burden on and then just be enveloped in there like it's becomes your jail. Get out, get out and about. I can leave my dad for now.

I can leave him by himself. He's going to be in his own little flat. So he'll have his own bathroom and shower.

He'll be part of our house, but on the other side of our garage. And so I plan to still get out with friends, still do walks in the bush and still, as well as looking after him, making sure he's had his tablets for the day and taking him off to appointments, I still need to have a social life and a life myself. So I plan to keep that going.

So yeah, so spend time with friends when you can. I think that's really important because they know you, they know your heart and they can just bring some clarity back into the situation and just, yeah, a different perspective. And delegate tasks to others.

Now, I think that's a really important thing. So delegate the tasks to others. So like we have to prepare this flat.

Now that would have been an overwhelm all on itself because at the moment it houses, I should take a picture of it. It's got all my junk in there. So I have to sort through junk, move junk into our shed and that's a fair bit of work, but then it needs to be prepared with wiring, plastering, all the things you do.

So we've all thrown in some money to help to get that done really quickly, but it's delegating tasks to others. So we've got some people coming in to do wiring. We'll get someone to come and do the plastering and all that.

So we can't do all that ourselves. And that would be an absolute overwhelm if we had to do that, but being able to delegate tasks to others. And I'm almost there.

Learn to say no to things. Learn to say no to some stuff. So if somebody wants you to do something for them and you feel like you're already overwhelmed, hugely overwhelmed and you can barely cope with your own life, I think it's a fine thing to say no.

Explain what's going on and say, no, you don't even need to explain, but I like to give a reason because sometimes just saying no can seem a bit wrong to me. So I like to say why I'm saying no, but say no, learn to say no, then that's okay.

So just with my dad, like the overwhelm with my dad, and maybe you've got an elderly parent that you need to deal with. Hi, Anastasia, great that you could join me. So just be organized.

Now I'm not an organized person. I'm just talking about dealing with overwhelm today. I'm just almost at the end, but you'll be able to see this on replay.

Be organized. So this is unlike me. I buy two diaries at the start of every year and calendars, and do I write things down on them?

No. I can tell you, I mean, this has been a year like no other, but we're a fair way through the year now, and I've not written one thing on my calendars.

I put it all up here or put it on white bits of paper, which I sometimes lose, although normally I know where to find them. So be organized, write everything down on a to-do list, which I'm doing with my dad right now, which appointments he needs, when he needs to go, da-da-da-da. So trying to deal with me and trying to deal with kind of my older kids that kind of need to stay in touch as well, and sometimes they need some support.

But dealing with that overwhelm to me is I'm putting everything on a to-do list, and as I do it, I tick it off and add more, because who knows that when you get an elderly parent coming to live with you, there's things that you'll tick off, but more appointments that need to be made. So I've got this to-do list. I'm just making sure I do one thing, tick it off, and then add others as I go along, so they're not all staying in my head, because I'm a really bad person for keeping everything in my head, but I'm now needing to learn to write it all down, and it does help.

And I just think I've made some things easier by trying to make all my appointments for him on the same day. So for those of you who have just joined me, my dad, my 88-year-old dad's just coming to live with us in a flat off the side of our house, but he's 88. He's got a bit of dementia and forgets things that he said two minutes ago, so it's a little bit scary.

So then I'll be his carer. I'll be taking care of him, and so then I think, oh, overwhelm, like I find it hard enough to fit in all the things I need to do for me as a nurse, a mum, a strength trainer in person, a strength trainer online, a strength trainer all over the place. I'm a nurse on the weekend.

I don't sleep well, so all these things. So yeah, so I'm just trying to do one thing, then tick the other one off. Make things easier.

Sorry, it's going back to by putting appointments all on the same day. So if you can, if you're like me and you don't like going into town, I don't like going into the big city here, not that it's that big a city, but I'll try and get everything done that I need to on the same day, so I'm not making several trips in. And I just explain to others and clients exactly what's going on so they understand.

If I've got to change someone's appointment because my dad has no cardiology appointment that I couldn't get in another whatever day or two's time, then I've got to change clients around that I train, then I'll need to do that. So they're just really trying to take care of me in the process of trying to take care of him and not coming to the point where I feel so overwhelmed that I can't take care of either him or me. So really, that's all I want to say today.

Just when you have overwhelm, what do you do about the overwhelm and trying to put some simple tips and tools into place so you're not absolutely overwhelmed. And for me, a priority is always trying to make sure I take care of my health. So trying to eat well when I can.

I've stopped going to the shop. I was eating so much chocolate there for a few weeks. It was ridiculous.

I've stopped doing that and I'm back to my seed balls. And that just feels great because I feel like I'm eating chocolate, but it's healthy stuff at the same time. And seeds, it's amazing how much they fill you up.

Yeah, so it's great. But yeah, so just trying to take care of yourself in the overwhelmed times and don't get too overwhelmed because if you sit back, take a big breath and kind of think about there's always things you can put in place to make that a little bit easier for yourself. Okay, so wish me luck with my 88-year-old dad.

At least he can still walk around okay. That's good. Just his head's starting to go on him.

Have a great day, ladies. And thank you so much for joining me. This is Cherie from spicefitness.com.

See you later. Bye.